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[29 Mar 2005|09:20am] |
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Green Day |
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Yeah so the tournament was embarrassing, I scored every game but one, and 5 in one game we beat canyon view 17-1, but lost to Cedar because we weren't confident in what we needed to get done and after the game Danielle and Danny screamed at everybody therefore all the girls thought that they all sucked. In all honesty by looking at the teams, Bear River girls and boys could take state again, we have got the talent, but we don't have the mental part just yet, if we could get that together holy shit we'd be unstoppable for this year and next. I just don't know how we can get that together, I have total faith in our team, but select few don't, how do I make them understand that we can keep our title and make one for the boys?? I don't know but I need to think of something fast. Oh yeah I got a hair cut yesterday and holy shit is it short, I look like a freakin' girl (not like that's a bad thing but not used to it) I love you all and I hope you're having a blast. Oh yeah and Shane I hope that you are doing better in polo, though to me I don't see a difference, you are still a kick-ass player
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[16 Mar 2005|09:20am] |
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None I'm at school |
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Well since I haven't updated in a while, I thought that I should cause I have nothing else to do....let's see well last Saturday was prom....date and dinner were a 10+, but the dance wasn't as good nobody wanted to be there so we ended up leaving an hour after it started. I had a water polo game last night and we lost (duh) our whole team was pissed off at each other because we went from State Champions to State Losers. We have another game today which we should do farely well and if we lose well lets just say then there is probably no hope for us (no kidding) other than that nothing really exciting is happening..well.. at least I can't think of anything
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| Just checking in |
[07 Mar 2005|10:12am] |
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Yeah so I haven't written in a while so I thought I would write to say hi to all of you. Nothing exciting has happened at all lately, my brother got Slip Knot tickets and being the special sister that I am I get to go with him whoo hoo, My first Water Polo game is in two days and I am most likly going to play hole I am excited. Other than that I am just happy it's getting warm cause I'm sick of all this snow!! I love you all
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[12 Feb 2005|07:13pm] |
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Phantom of the Opera |
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May I burn in hell I feel like the shitiest person right now, I can't exlplain it I just don't want to be here anymore... no more.....I can't do a fuckin thing right for any body any more....Inside my head is screaming...old habits that I thought I was over have now come back...the tears of blood stained me last night...I'm sorry for ranting but when I went for help no one would listen so I will handle things the way I did before.
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[30 Jan 2005|04:19pm] |
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Static X |
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Well the last four days have been absolute hell for me to the point that my head wants to explode, but it's almost over now one more day and then it's over. Shane I have you and your mom to thank for that, tell thank you and that I love her with all my heart and she did so much for me with out knowing it she saved a life as did you and I am eternally grateful for that. Spike remember that if you need someone to talk to even about Grr I am here to help and it might make her mad, but I think she should talk to someone if not me then someone, it's a serious matter what is happening to her and keeping it a secret won't help so please if she needs someone I can talk to her.
I love you spike
Love you babe so much 
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| I feel so lost alone |
[31 Dec 2004|09:02pm] |
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all hope is lost |
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Depressing music |
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I don't know what's going on...I feel so alone and lost, like there is nobody here to catch me when I fall, like there is no one to run to when I need a shoulder to cry on....I can't do anything right for any one any more..my parents think I am an embarrassment to them and try to hide me from society....I'm so sick of feeling like this... it haunts me when I sleep nothing is the same anymore. I'm trapped in a room screaming and no one cares or even notices...two days ago I tried to end it all...make the pain end for all eternity, but the dose wasn't enough I couldn't breath for awhile I couldn't think I was dizzy I thought maybe it was working...but it did was make me sick. I'm shut in the dark and I can't find the light....some times I manage a smile or two but deep inside I'm screaming for help! And I don't know where to go...I try to tell someone especially Shane but when I need him he is somewhere else and I don't need to bother him with my problems...I wish the pain would go away... I don't know what to do....my family, my friends, and everyone I love seem so far away from me...I just want the pain to end... to stop...I want to be able to smile and mean it..not put on a show..but more than anything just to the pain to go away
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| Oh boy it's christmas |
[25 Dec 2004|09:55am] |
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Christmas Music |
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Holy Holy crap it's cristmas!!! wow today hopefully we are going to walk across the Golden Gate Bridge I'm so excited!!! It's amazing out here, the city isn't even qiute, coffee shops are always open, i've gone out foe hot chocolate everyday I've been here. the houses here are freakin' awesome, I walkee by an old gothic house last night and it was really awesome! the outter walls were made of old english bricks and the gates and windows were all black with iron gates and old lanterns. Oh yeah and Shane when I get back we are going back to Ogden because "Santa" brought me a 300$ cretit card to the NewGate Mall! so plan on it ok....well hope everybody is happy and perky so I'll talk to ya all later!
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[24 Dec 2004|08:11pm] |
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Oh heck yeah baby i am in San Fransisco holy shit is it fun, yes babe I hope that you love your trenchcoat, merry christmas to y'all annd now i AM going to a retarded party where I am going to talk to fancy rich people!
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| Am I or am I not? |
[13 Dec 2004|08:06pm] |
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Godsmack, 3 doors down |
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Chilling at home listening to my little sister giggle with her retarded friends...somtimes little sibblings can be a pain in the ass ya know that? Yeah I got home from Shane's house and my sister was balling about something and my mom told me she had stolen things from me and that I was to decide her punishment. at that she screamed at me and started throwing things and my dad told me to handle it because she was being a phsyco like I am...that made me think a little bit...am I really a phsyco?? Do I deserve to be put in a hospital where the room you stay in is nothing but cushion? If not then why does he always bring that up? After so long you start to wonder if what people say about you is really true...I dunno maybe I am...but I'm in too good a mood to let it drag me down tonight....
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